On the March...

Ooooh, it's been a while. I've been to Ireland and the UK and back again. I've been overcharged for car rental and have today managed to spill bleach on my foot. Life is pretty normal right now...

Ireland was so much fun!! I went over for the boy's sister's surprise baby shower. We were so good at keeping this surprise that when she opened the door and saw us all I thought her waters might break! It was a tea party, so everybody baked/made sandwiches/brought cake stands and decorations, and we nattered and ate far too much and cooed over the two newborns and played games, and then a few of us stayed around after wards and I glugged a bottle of wine with Boy's dad. My time there on my own (ie. without the boy) helped establish that Ireland feels like home, and that I made the right decision in leaving London.

And last Sunday I headed down to Devon to see the grandfolks. I got a free upgrade on my car rental (woohoo!) but now I have a charge on my card because there was a mileage limit I wasn't told about of 125 MILES PER DAY. Stansted to Devon alone is over 250 miles!! Anyway, I'm trying to wangle the money back from the gits... Seeing my gram was lovely, although she's now making me play Words With Friends with her...

I don't really know how much longer we'll be in Germany because I'm going to start looking for jobs in Ireland next month, and if I get hired I'll head over before the boy's project is finished. Im getting quite impatient to start my life there now, but in the meantime I've made an 'On the March' list of things to do this month. I love lists.

• Write my CV. Oh, God. I haven't had to write a CV in a million years but I've started and I just hope that there's something in entertainment or education that will be right for me. Or if someone employs me in a cool cafe, that'd be ok too!
• Create my showreel. I have literally hours of video of me singing, and nobody ever sees it. A showreel is typically a 3-minute montage of all your best bits, whether it be singing, dancing, acting, presenting... I need to sift through all the videos and pick out all the bits where I'm showing off, basically. Then I need to send it to people so someone will hire me to sing.
• Blog four times on each blog. As you can see, I'm not very schedular (if that's not a word it should be) when it comes to writing, and I'm trying to become more disciplined. I have not only this blog, but a baking blog The Gingerbread Lady, and two children's stories I'm working on, and if I'm to make my squagillions writing like JK, I need to actually write. (Disclaimer: If I do become a squagillionaire like JK, I'll pay my taxes just like she does).
• Save €200. This looks much easier than it is. I really don't earn much over here so saving €50 a week is actually a bit of an achievement. This one is out of necessity. In April, I'm away for  week, then my main family is away for two weeks, so I'll have no money coming in at all. EEK!
• Work out 15 times. I'm doing alright on this one actually, it's amazing what a sudden burst of vanity can help you achieve! I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and I want to look good in the photos haha!! I made this list last Monday and I worked out four times last week, so only another eleven to go. By which time I will have a six pack and a bum like that Instagram lady who's famous for her bum.
• Complete level 3 on Rosetta Stone German. Enough said, really. My German isn't good enough.
• Sort out voice recorder. Ok, this is the list because I've been trapsing this thing around with me for years in the vain hope that one day I might be bored enough to go through every single file, pluck out my vocal warm ups and chuck out the rest. And today I did it!! DONE.
• Learn six songs. I have a bunch of songs that I'm vaguely working on that I want to get settled in my brain, and I figured six is a number I should actually exceed, especially now I have all my warm ups to hand!
• Work on blog traffic. I see all these blogs with thousands of followers, and I feel like Billy-No-Mates in the corner over here. So I'm going to set up Twitter and Instagram and whatever else and spend a bit of time on it every day, like a little job.
• Stat writing down my recipes. The recipes I use on a regular basis are all over the place: online, on my phone, in books, on scraps of cereal boxes... The idea is to have two books solely for recipes: one for healthy stuff, and one for naughty stuff. Because you need a bit of both...

Well, That's it from me for now. It feels good to be doing constructive things towards leaving here!

Oh, what the bloody hell am I meant to do with my life?

Gah!

So I've been in Vegesack six and a half weeks now, and as much as I love being with the boy, and looking after all the babies, I'm starting to get bored, and I miss singing and performing so much. Now, while I don't mind this state of affairs for the next few months, right now I have an awful lot of time to think about what to do once we're based permanently in Ireland. AND I'M PANICKING BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!!!

So I've come up with a few ideas... I'm writing these down mostly to get them out of my brain, but if anybody wants to chime in feel free! I feel the need to point out at this point, that while I have managed to clear my debts (wahoo!), I have no savings whatsoever (boo!).

SINGING/PERFORMING - sing, sing, sing, sing, everybody's got to sing, la la la la... I actually have two separate ideas for this: CREATE A FUNCTION/WEDDING BAND and AUDITION FOR MUSICAL THEATRE AND ACTING WORK

CREATE A FUNCTION/WEDDING BAND

PROS - I'd be performing!
           - I used to work functions and weddings about *ahem* 11 years ago, and I really enjoyed it
           - Once it's up and running, one or two nights' work a week would pay the bills
           - It would work around any kind of Monday-Friday job
         
CONS - It would take a while to get a band together, rehearse, play free gigs, create a website, engage social media etc. Between getting the band together and getting paid work would take 3-6 months
           - I'd be relying on other people to make it work
           - I haven't actually checked out any potential competition yet...
           - No holidays in the summer

AUDITION FOR MUSICAL THEATRE AND ACTING WORK

PROS - It's what I'm trained to do
           - I'd be performing!
           - I love being on stage more than anything else

CONS - Just about the least secure and most unpredictable profession there is
            - If I were lucky enough to get a long-term show, I'd either have to relocate to London (where I've just left for a number of reasons), or I'd be travelling around a lot, which isn't ideal when your boyfriend will only be home for 4 months out of 12
           - Most of the acting work I've seen in Ireland is film-based, and I have very limited film experience

The most important thing is the performing thing is NON-NEGOTIABLE!!!


OK, now onto some other, less obvious ideas...


START A BAKED GOODS DELIVERY SERVICE - Basically, a small business in which I bake edible yumminess and deliver it to Cork city and the local area. Initially cupcakes, brownies, cake pops, that sort of things, then moving into personalised goods, wedding cakes etc

PROS - I love baking almost as much as I love performing
           - I think there's a niche in the market for this sort of start-up in the area
           - Plenty of places to sell my wares, such as farmers' markets
           - I could work from home, so we could do things like GET A PUPPY!
           - Low start-up costs
           - I could do fun things like go on sugar crafting courses
           - would fit in with evening singing
       
CONS - I probably wouldn't make much, if any, money in the first 6-12 months
           - I'd definitely have quiet times in the business - what would I do then?
           - Setting up a business is scary!
           - Courses cost money, and an internship pays about €50 a week, from what I've seen on Irish employment sites, which isn't enough to live on in the Emerald Isle, surprisingly enough!


BECOME A WEDDING PLANNER

PROS - I have extensive experience in creating, planning and running childrens' birthday parties, so I have transferable skills
           - I'm organised and detail-driven, and I love working with people

CONS - There are already two well-established wedding planning companies in Cork so I'm not sure if the market is already saturated...
           - It may involve me working Saturday nights, not ideal if I'm trying to perform
           - Conflict of interest if I'm also a wedding singer?
           - May involve a training course or internship for accreditation/creating contacts


OFFICE WORK

PROS - It would snyc up perfectly with performing
           - It's a regular wage, I could save money towards doing one of the previous two
           - It wouldn't be forever

CONS - IT'S OFFICE WORK
            - I would definitely hate it
            - The last time I worked in an office was as a receptionist nine years ago, so suffice to say my experience is fairly limited


WORKING IN A CAFE

PROS - I'd get experience in the catering trade, especially if the cafe bakes their goods in-house, and I'd get a grasp of how the running of a cafe works, which is great because I dream of owning a tea shop.
           - Regular wage
           - Timing works with performing in the evenings

CONS - Low wages
           - I'd have to work weekends


NANNYING-BABYSITTING

PROS - I have experience and references
           - I love kids
           - The timing would work with performing
           - It'd probably be part-time, meaning I could combine it with another option

CONS - If an amazing opportunity to perform came up, I'd find it incredibly difficult to let a family down
           - Low wages
         

Actually, writing all this down has really helped! I think I need to look into nannying and cafe jobs, as well as doing more research on both small business ideas. And I have to KEEP SINGING!

In the meantime, While I'm in Germany I need to:

- Learn as much German as possible because having a second language is always a good skill to have in the job market
- Bake as much as I can
- Get in shape because a lot of my wardrobe doesn't fit me (largely due to the baking habit!)

Wow! I feel so much better... I'll probably come up with a myriad different options soon, but for now I'm happy :-)

It's been an interesting couple of weeks...

Yes, it certainly has! Lots of musings, a prat fall and trips to the x-ray department...

I'm not very tech-savvy, and for some reason the photos of Bremen that I took with the camera won't load onto the blog, no matter how much I shout at the computer, but here are a few from my walk along the river the other day:

This boat lives down the road from us. We still haven't ventured on it yet, but isn't it gorgeous!

Along the river, one of the houses has this. Makes me want a cat even more...

This made me stop in my tracks. Having never lived in another country before, I'm so used to seeing war memorials in the UK but I've never stopped to consider that millions of ordinary Germans also died. 

There's quite a lot of marshland here, and on a sunny day the colours are stunning.

It was the first time I've ever seen a frozen river in real life!!!

"Let it go! Let it go!" Too much...?

So yes, it's beautiful here, if absolutely bloody freezing! Walking here is lovely, and it helps me get out of the funny moods I've started experiencing just in the past week. I miss singing so much, and I really hate cold weather, and I miss my friends and family, and I guess you could say I'm in a funk. I just have no motivation to do anything, and there is plenty I could be doing right now. Nothing's wrong, and I'm sure I'll snap out of it in the next couple of days. But feeling utterly useless isn't helping...

I feel useless because yesterday morning I fell over in the most ridiculous way. I'd gone downstairs to see the doctor (yep, the doctor's surgery is downstairs), and when I came back inside my glasses were steamed up so I couldn't see anything. I was tidying up in the bedroom, didn't see the corner of the bed due to steamy blindness and BAM! I managed to twist round, banging my head on the wall before crashing it down on the floor. After seeing stars for a few moments I realised the pinky on my right hand was rapidly turning purple and was twisting in towards my hand. Oh dear.

I rushed downstairs (as much as you can rush when you're dizzy) to see the doctor... for the second time in 20 minutes. I explained I'd just fallen and after a quick exam they sent me off to the x-ray department, where they said it probably wasn't broken, but they couldn't be sure.

Anyway, like I said before, now I feel useless. I've had to cancel work for two days because carrying around 11kg babies would be impossible at the moment, I can't do anything around the house, I can't even brush my teeth properly. 

But isn't it a pretty colour?

Bloody winter vomiting bug...! (Warning: a bit sweary!)

Good day! It is snowing today in delightful Vegesack and as a result I'm doing my very best to not leave the house until it's stopped/I've run out of food, tea and toilet rolls/nuclear apocalypse. A bit mean of me, I know, but I detest snow. Snow makes my hands turn white with orange and purples spots (thanks, crap circulation). Snow clings to you like a snotty tissue you've accidentally sat on, then leaves your clothes soaking wet because it's basically rain that sticks. When is spring?

Anyway, since I posted last I spent a few days in the UK. What was meant to be a fun weekend of work and seeing friends was RUINED by various bodily functions...

The kids I nanny here are wonderful, but they're very young, and one family has four children under 4. The eldest caught the winter vomiting bug, and as a result it's been flying round the house for at least a fortnight now. Last week, I left them on Wednesday night and flew to London on Thursday morning. By Friday night I was still fine, and I thought I'd gotten away with it, despite having changed nappies every 20 minutes for four hours on one particularly shitty day.

NOPE.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling groggy and exhausted. I made a cup of tea. The tea lasted less than five minutes in my system before I sprinted to my bathroom, which was actually the fastest I've moved this year so far. By 10.30 I was both shitting water and praying to the porcelain god on a regular basis (thankfully these two never occurred at the same moment), and I continued to do this for 8 hours. Then I slept forever. On the upside, I definitely lost a few pounds and vomiting is a hardcore workout for abs!

I'm back to healthy now and looking after still-sick babies. No wonder they're screaming half the time at the moment. I would too if it were more socially acceptable for adults to scream and yell without the influence of alcohol. Actually, the next time I'm ill maybe I'll just pretend that I'm drunk.

The flatmate with the guitar has left, which means I can no longer practice the shoddiness that was my A major chord, which is really annoying because I was starting to get ever so slightly less atrocious. But on a positive note, one of the mums I work for has lent me her cakepop maker!! I made a batch on Wednesday that were pretty darn good, although I forgot to take pictures, and I'll do some more next week. Or maybe this weekend. Who knows. I'm crazy like that.

So we have a murder of crows that live in the trees outside our flat, and right now they're all crowing really loudly like the beginning of a horror movie. It's the sound of imminent doom. I might just go and check that all the windows and doors are locked. Although, obviously if this was a horror movie that wouldn't matter. Because logic.

I'm off into Bremen tomorrow (if it's not snowing and I haven't been murdered) and I'm taking the boy's camera so hopefully I'll be able to share some pretty pictures next time. But for now, here's some snow on some trees in our garden. Because you've never seen a picture so original:

This bloody weather...

You can take the girl out of Britain...

I shall start this installment by complaining about the weather. It's bloody awful. On Sunday, I went for a walk with the boy. Gale force winds and spurts of rain and hail. Hail that grinned as it hit me in the face (that's what it felt like, anyway). It varies between being so sunny my transition lenses decide we're in the Bahamas and I look like a dick, to the clouds of Mordor descending (at this point the Orcs arrive and start snarling on Vegesack High Street). Suffice to say I was rather spoilt with nice, non-wintry weather in 2014, and I do not appreciate being treated this way by Northern nature.

Anyhoo, enough whingeing.

I thought an update of my resolutions might be a good idea:

I will learn to play guitar. This one is going slowly (ie. I started yesterday), but it's going! I can play E major and A major - badly. I can also now tune the guitar using an app (I still marvel at technology on a regular basis). Apparently once I learn D and can play that, there will be hundreds of songs I can learn. As long as they're not all Status Quo.

I will learn German. This one is going well. The other nanny I work with doesn't speak much English so I have to understand her German. And understanding meaning is quite important when you work with small children... But I'm starting to find the confidence to speak to people, and although they reply in three different ways before I can understand, I do eventually understand. And that' for me, is a win!

I will bake new things. I have done this once so far. I still have no baking equipment so the only thing I can bake right now is flapjack (for non-Brits, this is a delicious mixture of oats, honey, sugar and butter that is baked and cut into bars). The 'new thing' about it is that I added raspberry jam, and this is because all the shops are closed on Sundays and I couldn't buy any filling!!

I will take at least one photo every day and post it here. Ummmmm.... yeah...

I will write more. Please see above resolution.

I will make more effort with friends and family. This is going well, although I still have so many people to get in touch with.

Ok, so it's a mixed bag as far as keeping my resolutions. C-, must try harder.

The only thing left to report is my list of THINGS I HAVE LEARNT THIS WEEK.

• I have no idea what happens in track cycling races. Especially when the commentary is in German.
• I like currywurst. I really like currywurst.
• It's rather difficult to get a double duvet. Germans have individual single duvets on double beds. 
• Germans love to knit. Or crochet. Or something. So many shops sell wool, and the supermarket has an entire section devoted to their love of woollen craftiness.
• The german word for some owls is Uhu, which is to be said musically, like a coo. I love that.

Time for some Rosetta Stone. Tschüss!

What I've learned after five days in Germany

• German people are extremely nice (apart from the grumpy checkout guy in the supermarket)
• It's cold, but not as cold as I'd feared - phew!
• The pillows are 80cm x 80cm ie. huge squares. I can't get used to this at all.
• If you speak to people in halting German, they will automatically reply in English. As lovely as this is, because I get very nervous when I'm trying to speak to a native, I'm trying to learn, dammit!
• The word for kettle is wasserkucher - water cooker, makes sense - and drinking tea with milk is seen as a bit strange.

All in all, I think I'll like it here as long as I keep myself busy. There's not a whole lot of stuff to do in Vegesack itself, and I haven't had chance to explore further out yet. As I love lists, I've made one entitled "Stuff to do in January". Snazzy, huh?

• I've got some work nannying triplets (with another nanny so it's not as crazy as it sounds), but I'd like a bit more so I'm pimping my wares online and looking into admin work from home. 
• I want to start baking asap but currently there is no baking equipment in the flat. Not so much as a rolling pin or cake tin! This will be remedied over the next couple of weeks. 
• I've resolved to start Insanity next week because I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been and look like a Weeble-Wobble (although if I fall over, at least I'll bounce right back up!)
• My flatmate has a guitar which he's said I can use - wahoo! - but it's right-handed so I can double my challenge by playing the way the rest of the world does. I say 'play'. I can't 'play' anything. But I will!
• I have completed level 1 of German on the Rosetta Stone!! A few more levels to go, but I actually feel like some of it is sticking in my brain.

I feel like I'm finding my feet here. It's a nice feeling.

New Year's Resolutions (I know, I know...)

Ah yes, that time of year in which you promise to become a better, more caring, richer, more skilful member of society. And despite disappointing myself and the universe every year, I insist on this cyclical tradition of promises and self-loathing because one day I will learn to play the guitar, learn a new language and become a squagillionaire.

So here goes.

1. I will learn to play the guitar. This is on my list every year, with the exceptions of when the word 'guitar' is replaced by 'piano', which as happened a few times. I just kick myself that if I'd only started learning when this first appeared on my list (I was 16, I think), then I'd be giving Taylor Swift a run for her money. Come on, three chords and the musical world's my lobster. Just ask Status Quo.

2. I will learn German. I'm moving to Germany tomorrow (eek!) and I can say mein Auto ist kaput (my car has broken down) and enquire Wo ist der Vogel? (Where is the bird?) Both will serve me well, but I fear I may need a little more. I'm terrified that at some point I'll need to go to the doctor and play Charades to explain my disorder. So Rosetta Stone is on the laptop, Duolingo is on the phone and I shall dedicate 30 minutes a day to practice my deutsch.

3. I will bake new things. I love to bake. It's one of my favourite things to do. And while my lemon drizzle sponge and red velvet cupcakes are lovely, what the bloody hell is a charlotte royale? Now that I have more time, I shall expand my baking knowledge. Cake pops, meringues, tarts, pasties: I shall master them all. I'm actually thinking of creating another blog to journal my baking adventures, so watch this space.

4. I will take at least one photo every day and post it here. The world is a beautiful and really weird place, and I would love to have a photographic story at the end of the year to remember 2015 by.

5. I will write more. Every year I start a journal, or a story, or some songs. I always get frustrated and think my writing is the most dreadful shit I've ever had to lay my eyes on. It gets thrown in the bin and I have to buy a new notebook (the last bit id fine because I have a love of buying stationery. So this year, I shall journal. I shall write stories and terrible poetry. I shall create characters that will never see the light of day. And that's ok.

6. I will make more effort with friends and family. This one is by far the most important. When working on ships, it's very easy to explain that time zones, distance and an internet system slower that dial-up c. 1996 make it all very difficult to keep in touch. And everyone understands, because everyone is busy with their own lives. But it's time for me to step up to the plate. When I think of someone, I shall send them a little message.

7. Become a QI elf, perform at Jools Hollands' Hootenanny, become muscle bound without losing my curves, develop an anti-wrinkle cream that actually works and a pair of glasses that won't fall down the bridge of my nose, get the role of a quirky romantic lead in an indie movie that suddenly explodes and I win the lip-sync battle with Jimmy Fallon.

A girl can dream...