New Year's Resolutions (I know, I know...)

Ah yes, that time of year in which you promise to become a better, more caring, richer, more skilful member of society. And despite disappointing myself and the universe every year, I insist on this cyclical tradition of promises and self-loathing because one day I will learn to play the guitar, learn a new language and become a squagillionaire.

So here goes.

1. I will learn to play the guitar. This is on my list every year, with the exceptions of when the word 'guitar' is replaced by 'piano', which as happened a few times. I just kick myself that if I'd only started learning when this first appeared on my list (I was 16, I think), then I'd be giving Taylor Swift a run for her money. Come on, three chords and the musical world's my lobster. Just ask Status Quo.

2. I will learn German. I'm moving to Germany tomorrow (eek!) and I can say mein Auto ist kaput (my car has broken down) and enquire Wo ist der Vogel? (Where is the bird?) Both will serve me well, but I fear I may need a little more. I'm terrified that at some point I'll need to go to the doctor and play Charades to explain my disorder. So Rosetta Stone is on the laptop, Duolingo is on the phone and I shall dedicate 30 minutes a day to practice my deutsch.

3. I will bake new things. I love to bake. It's one of my favourite things to do. And while my lemon drizzle sponge and red velvet cupcakes are lovely, what the bloody hell is a charlotte royale? Now that I have more time, I shall expand my baking knowledge. Cake pops, meringues, tarts, pasties: I shall master them all. I'm actually thinking of creating another blog to journal my baking adventures, so watch this space.

4. I will take at least one photo every day and post it here. The world is a beautiful and really weird place, and I would love to have a photographic story at the end of the year to remember 2015 by.

5. I will write more. Every year I start a journal, or a story, or some songs. I always get frustrated and think my writing is the most dreadful shit I've ever had to lay my eyes on. It gets thrown in the bin and I have to buy a new notebook (the last bit id fine because I have a love of buying stationery. So this year, I shall journal. I shall write stories and terrible poetry. I shall create characters that will never see the light of day. And that's ok.

6. I will make more effort with friends and family. This one is by far the most important. When working on ships, it's very easy to explain that time zones, distance and an internet system slower that dial-up c. 1996 make it all very difficult to keep in touch. And everyone understands, because everyone is busy with their own lives. But it's time for me to step up to the plate. When I think of someone, I shall send them a little message.

7. Become a QI elf, perform at Jools Hollands' Hootenanny, become muscle bound without losing my curves, develop an anti-wrinkle cream that actually works and a pair of glasses that won't fall down the bridge of my nose, get the role of a quirky romantic lead in an indie movie that suddenly explodes and I win the lip-sync battle with Jimmy Fallon.

A girl can dream...